weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
too bad you live with your parents still
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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