i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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