I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
