Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
