I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
