I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
