He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
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He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
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Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN