I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking