no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
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i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
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I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that