HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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