i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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