So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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