So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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