ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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