I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
