thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
