Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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