so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
