That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
