I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
