i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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