This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Also, beer. Big fan.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
