Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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