id be glad to
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
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You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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