me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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