I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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