i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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