you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
