Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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