He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
