Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
