You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
