so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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