Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
