No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
im six kinds of drunk right now
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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