The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
honey bunches of taint.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
