Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
