HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
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