Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
