Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
