My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
