Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
