It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
he quoted the bible to break up with me
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In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
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I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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