what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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