this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
