were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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