I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
