I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
