you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
