i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
