nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
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Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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