Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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