Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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