Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Rumble strips road head = magical
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize