True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Someone came in the potted fern
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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