My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
