FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
