I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize