he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
