the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
