You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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